


Do You Blame Yourself?

by deletingpoint



Series: Supergirl codas [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e22 Nevertheless She Persisted, F/F, Gen, Missing Scene, POV Lena Luthor, Post-Season/Series 02, Protective Lena Luthor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deletingpoint/pseuds/deletingpoint
Summary: That scene after season 2 finale between Kara and Lena that we didn't get to see.





	Do You Blame Yourself?

 

The sirens are still blaring and without a doubt there will be lives lost. Lena leans on the balcony reeling and takes in the sight of National City in ruins. She had given orders to finance shelters and support, but there wasn’t much more she could do right now. Unless she volunteered herself to help, but that would be ill-advised. She is needed here for emergencies after all. The life of a CEO.

She catches a flicker of red and blue from the corner of her eye. Supergirl. Probably saving someone. Perhaps from a burning car or from under a collapsed building. Quarter of a second and then she’s gone. Helping someone else. Does she ever help herself? There’s a change in the wind, Lena blinks and when she opens her eyes again, Supergirl is there. Floating in mid-air. There’s a few burn marks on her shirt, there’s some soot on her face and ash in the hair.  

“You got a little something over here,” Lena smiles and rubs her own face like a mirror.

“Oh, uh, thanks! That poor cat was so scared and I had to chase after it,” she wipes her nose and makes it even more dirty.

Lena bites her lip to hold back laughter. “Can’t you magically get yourself clean?”

“What? No! My abilities don’t include magic, I’m just, miss Luthor, why are you laughing?”

“I’m not! See,” Lena sucks her lips in, but breaks into laugh a second later. “Sorry, you just look like a proper cinderella like this. And cats? You were rescuing a cat?”

“It would’ve suffocated otherwise!” she crosses her arms on the chest and pretends to be insulted. So human like. So much like a certain human really.

“No, you’re right. I apologize. I don’t mean to be rude, but aren’t you supposed to be helping people right now. I mean, there’s no need to rescue me and aren’t you a bit too busy for social calls?”

“Yes, well, I wanted to thank you.”

“Whatever for?

“The daxamites are gone because of you.”

“Well, they also got here because of me, so we’ll call it even and no need for thank yous,” Lena nods bitterly. “Besides, aren’t you the one who made the call?” she shifts the conversation away from her, “that couldn’t have been easy.”

“I… No, it wasn’t,” she squeezes her arms and shifts a little, “No, I should, I should go back, just wanted to say I’m grateful you’re my ally.”

So she isn’t ready to talk about it. “Wait!” Lena stops her from leaving, “Mon-el, or Mike, what happened to him?”

“He left Earth in a pod. I, I don’t know where he ended up,” Supergirl says sadly before disappearing into the mess of the city.

 

Fuck. Kara! Lena rushes inside to get her phone. Perhaps this is why she hasn’t seen Kara. She should’ve known, of course she should’ve known and Lena is the reason Mike had to leave, the reason it all started in the first place. Maybe Kara doesn’t want to see her anymore? She hesitates for a moment before deciding to still send a message: _I heard about Mike, I’m so sorry. I’ll always be here for you. Lena._  
She adds her name just in case Kara’s deleted her number. There is no answer, so she turns on CatCo news station instead.

There’s a hesitant knock on the door about half an hour later.

“Yes, I’m in here,” she calls without looking up from the formula she started to perfect for a more fire resilient material.

“Hi,” comes a voice and the door is shut again.

“Kara!” Lena gets up and rushes to give her a hug. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” she doesn’t care her hug is a bit bone crushing and she doesn’t care that Kara doesn’t hug her back right away. She’s alright and she’s here. Finally, Kara’s arms rise and she hugs her back. “Yeah. You too,” she says in a tired voice and Lena takes a step back from the embrace.

“I’m so sorry about Mike, come, sit down,” she leads her to the couch.

“Thanks. And there’s no need. I mean, it wasn’t exactly you fault,” she adjusts her glasses and sighs.

“Well, not to make it about myself, but in some ways I am responsible?” Lena lifts her eyebrow.

“Lena, no, you don’t need to take responsibility for things that were out of your control. I should’ve seen it coming. I… I already miss him, you know? He was an idiot and he could be a true ass hole, but he was my idiot, you know? We both learned from each other and now it’s like he never even existed.”

“Of course he did,” Lena rubs her back and brings her arm around Kara’s shoulder, remembering how nice she had been after what happened to Jack. “You’ll remember the good times and the bad times and you’ll remember how you used to be with him.”

“Speaking from experience?” Kara leans on her and closes her eyes.

“You could say that,” Lena finds herself stroking Kara’s hair, brushing them away from her forehead.

“I used to think I wasn’t meant for love or relationships, that I’m cursed like that, but with him I didn’t care anymore, I felt free. And now, I can’t seem to stop hurting.”

There’s a little smudge of ash next to Kara’s ear. There’s a skip in her heartbeat before Lena silently kisses it away.

“That tickles,” Kara giggles quietly.

“Do you blame yourself for what happened to him?” she doesn’t stop stroking.

“I blame myself for people dying, so I guess it’s a yes,” there’s a darkness to Kara’s tone of voice.

“You did what you had to to save people. I can’t imagine how that might feel.”

“What?” Kara raises her head to look at her, wide-eyed.

Lena considers lying, to leave that secret be, but Kara’s pleading eyes make her answer honestly. “You forgot a place when you cleaned. Non-magically,” she tries to make a joke, not knowing how Kara would react to her knowing the truth.

“Oh gods,” Kara sits up and hides her face in her hands, no energy left to deny it.  “How? How long have you known?” she sounds on the verge of panic, but Lena doesn’t dare to touch her again.  

“For about half a minute. I swear. I never even considered it. I never cared who Supergirl was, that was her secret. Your secret, not mine. It was never my right to know.”

“No!” Kara almost yells. “You had the right to know, we’re friends, I should’ve, I should’ve told you so many times, but I didn’t know how. I, I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I’m, I’m so sorry, Lena!”

“You had your reasons, I’m not blaming you…”

“You should!” Kara interrupts her and shakes her head, “you should be mad at me! For not trusting you. You have never done anything wrong and I still couldn’t trust you.” She takes off her glasses and wipes the tears from her eyes.

“Kara,” she begins, “Maybe I should, but I’m not. And I still care about you and you, you’ve been through so much in the last days.  And I’m not going anywhere. Promise, I’ll be mad another day and we might even fight, but right now, please, Kara, let me just help _you_? Please, let me help you for all the people you’ve helped.”

She holds her breath for a second, scared that Kara might still fly away. But then Kara looks at her, so lost, and crashes on her, crying with rapid breaths and silently. “I killed them, I killed them all,” she repeats again and again.  And Lena just holds her, leaving kisses in her hair and rubbing her back.

 

 

 

 


End file.
